Posts Tagged ‘night’

All the worries

Become so many stories

Confusing at the front

Hope in the back

I lay down

And my heart is down

Adjusting to the new reality

When will I fully feel normal

For now I turn the pages

Looking for a page with words

Emptiness eats me alive

But it’s too cold to dig my grave

You break the bottle without a drop of alcohol staining the carpet

Laughs, giggles, smirks, dumb sentence follows your lips

Blood flow increases, my eyes narrow, clinched, ready

An act of a lifetime starts, swooping down to steal my anger

And like always I look the other way

And the next morning when I wake up alone

I ask myself

What’s worse, the fact she breaks wine bottles without a drop,

Or the fact that she’s so far gone?

Either way my carpet isn’t getting destroyed, but I am

Whether I know it or not, slowly, each drop, each sip…

Under the bed

Posted: September 21, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Bringing down nightmares
Raising up devils
A long night ahead

Small moments of hate
The devil’s name on my slate
Never ending gate

I come from Russia

I come from two loving parents who gave me a chance

I come from being two and half and now in the USA

I come from the true American dream 

I come from an athletic world 

I come from where athletic time is more important than school

I come from a hard balance of sports over college

I come from burning calories not burning brain cells

I’m going farther 

I broke all my metal chains

I’m only starting 

Ignore the pain
More to gain
Even with the strain
It’s worth every grain

Here’s a story
Not about the American dream
But about the silent screams
Some of us know about them
Some never will know
I’ve heard your cries
It just takes so much to try
Your gears turn as your tears pour
I’ve never meant to wait this long
The hallway never ending
Reached the exit of rescue
As your screams become more distant
Plucking them one by one
Slowly you pour out
Soon we have a room full
Each terrifying horrific story is told
We all have common experiences
But I sand out
I’ve made it through the thin crack
I can now see the sun and reply it is indeed hot and scorching
Soon all of them will be able to touch the sun without getting burned

Walk a mile in my shoes

Bring me the needle

Not to get high

But to survive from my disease

 

Walk a mile in my shoes

Teach me how to fight like a man

Not so I can be a cool kid

So I can fight off the bullies

 

Walk a mile in my shoes

I need a better job

Not to make myself happier

But to help my jobless mom

 

Walk a mile in my shoes

Show me how to love

Not because I like her

But because we have a child now

 

I am an incomplete book

Still being written every second

Every page being evaluated by others

Please read my entire story

 

Not just a sliver of a page, but the whole book

 

Walk a mile in my shoes

You only live once
The gulp of shy
With a hint of scared
Brings me away from her

Her red dress in the light
Her perfect smile as I try not to look
She gives off the perfect smell
She is everything I ever wanted

I repeat to myself words of wisdom
I bring myself to go talk to her
I put one foot in front of the other
Slowly I head her way

A muscular man with tattoos enters my vision
His so called “swagger” enters the room
He gives her a cool kid nod
And they hug as my gut spill onto the floor

Long blonde hair
Blue eyes
Loud music in his truck
Doesn’t know what a brain is

She smiles with him
She hugs with him
She laughs with him
They are happy as one

Sitting back and realizing
Realizing I’m better for her
Seeing I didn’t do a thing
And it still stings

I don’t know if she is the one or not
But she has my stomach in knots
And I know it’s over with her
Because

You only live once